The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers
- Downloads：9568
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-03-16 03:19:34
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Sheila Wray Gregoire
- ISBN：0310361745
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Sarah DeSalvo
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（This review is written by my husband， who is not on Goodreads）I WISH my wife and I had read this book during our premarital counseling！ This book is outstanding， well written and organized， backed by tons of research and hard work。 Few men would not benefit from reading this book， I highly recommend it。 Even though couples who have been married for years would benefit from this book， I would also highly recommend it for couples interested premarital counseling。 I think many counselors and coupl （This review is written by my husband， who is not on Goodreads）I WISH my wife and I had read this book during our premarital counseling！ This book is outstanding， well written and organized， backed by tons of research and hard work。 Few men would not benefit from reading this book， I highly recommend it。 Even though couples who have been married for years would benefit from this book， I would also highly recommend it for couples interested premarital counseling。 I think many counselors and couples are going to benefit for years to come from this publication。 Outstanding！ 。。。more
Susanna Vaughan
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For those of you brought up in the conservative， purity focused， evangelical church circle this is another fantastic book launching today。The church has got so so so much wrong about sexuallity， purity and sex in marriage， it's done tremendous damage。 See #thegreatsexrescue for more on that。If you are looking to start off on healthy footing， or are looking to rebuild after tearing down the lies that were holding your marriage in bondage please， please pick up this book。It's helped my husband and For those of you brought up in the conservative， purity focused， evangelical church circle this is another fantastic book launching today。The church has got so so so much wrong about sexuallity， purity and sex in marriage， it's done tremendous damage。 See #thegreatsexrescue for more on that。If you are looking to start off on healthy footing， or are looking to rebuild after tearing down the lies that were holding your marriage in bondage please， please pick up this book。It's helped my husband and I so much as we are working through a lot of crap beliefs we were taught。 Not all the conversations are easy， there have been lots of tears， apologies， and mutual grief over the damage that harmful teachings bore in our marriage。 But， we are glad to be able to recommend this book for anyone， but especially the guys。 The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers There is an equally excellent， helpful companion book for women。The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex 。。。more
Laurie Gauger
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There are stacks of books available on the topic of sex， so what makes this collaboration between Sheila Wray Gregoire and her husband Keith Gregoire a standout？ Well， a number of things。Unlike many if not most of the others， this selection goes beyond the standard instruction manual。 Readers will not be limited to a how to guide to " touch here， kiss there， and get ready for physical rapture"。 No， no， no。 This resource provides a well rounded approach to married sex。 The text is divided into th There are stacks of books available on the topic of sex， so what makes this collaboration between Sheila Wray Gregoire and her husband Keith Gregoire a standout？ Well， a number of things。Unlike many if not most of the others， this selection goes beyond the standard instruction manual。 Readers will not be limited to a how to guide to " touch here， kiss there， and get ready for physical rapture"。 No， no， no。 This resource provides a well rounded approach to married sex。 The text is divided into three helpful parts， covering but not limited to the following: -How sex works， including physiology and the sexual response cycle-Physical pleasure， obviously， lol-Emotional closeness vs。 mere physical transaction-Spiritual intimacy-What to do when things are not working-Sexual addictions-Honeymoon tips-Discussion questionsWritten from a Christian worldview， couples coming from a variety of backgrounds will find this an excellent resource， as it covers subjects common to everyone。At the risk of sounding trite， this is the book you'll wish that you had read before the wedding， or at least in the earliest days of your marriage。 It will help set newlyweds on a healthy track early on。 For those considering this book as married veterans， including those couples who have had great struggle in their sex lives， this book can provide hope as it offers the opportunity to reset wrong thinking that may have lead to unhealthy patterns and practices。 There is hope！This book is one to get on as many book shelves as possible。 Newlyweds and beyond will find help， encouragement， and hope within this guide。 。。。more
Karla
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The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex is a book like no other I have read （and I have read a lot of sex and relationship books）。 Honestly， I liked it even more than its companion book for women because I felt like I was getting to be part of a sacred message to Christain husbands in a time when many men are looking for help。 We live in such a pornified culture， and unfortunately， the Church has not done a better job at casting a holistic vision for marital intimacy or speaking openly about the thing The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex is a book like no other I have read （and I have read a lot of sex and relationship books）。 Honestly， I liked it even more than its companion book for women because I felt like I was getting to be part of a sacred message to Christain husbands in a time when many men are looking for help。 We live in such a pornified culture， and unfortunately， the Church has not done a better job at casting a holistic vision for marital intimacy or speaking openly about the things that complicate sexual intimacy。 The Gregoire’s have written a primer for men on how to be a good lover beginning with friendship， emotional and spiritual connection， and tasteful sexual education。 Using research， the book walks through the stages of arousal and troubleshoots a variety of issues Christian couples might face， including the orgasm gap between men and women， pornography addiction， and past sexual abuse。 The practical messages for growing intimacy are hope-fillled， and I also appreciate the recommendation to seek professional counseling when issues get too big。 I can’t wait to recommend this book to my Christian sex addiction and betrayal trauma clients。 。。。more
Bonnie Sampson
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I started the book expecting it to be good， because I've read some of Sheila's other content。However， I was blown away and my expectations were shattered at what I read。 It wasn't good。 It was amazing。 It was really that fantastic。 I made my husband read it of course。Sheila takes everyone - the soon to be married virgin， the victim of purity culture， the new Christian still sleeping with his girlfriend - and gives them a glimpse of what a great sex life within a loving marriage can be like。 Fire I started the book expecting it to be good， because I've read some of Sheila's other content。However， I was blown away and my expectations were shattered at what I read。 It wasn't good。 It was amazing。 It was really that fantastic。 I made my husband read it of course。Sheila takes everyone - the soon to be married virgin， the victim of purity culture， the new Christian still sleeping with his girlfriend - and gives them a glimpse of what a great sex life within a loving marriage can be like。 Fireworks。She doesn't just say "this is what it can be like" - she shows you how to get there。The book is full of helpful graphics from the research she has conducted。 She has evidence to back up her claims， which she presents in a very readable， friendly way。I especially enjoyed how she explained the sexual response cycle。 If you've never heard of that， read the book！ I had never heard of it before but suddenly it makes sense。I will be loaning my copy of this book to every male friend of mine who is getting married。 And buying the girls version to give to their fiancé's too。 This book is going to help so many relationships。 Thank you for writing it Sheila。 。。。more
Wanda
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This book will totally change the way you approach marriage and intimacy。 Yes， it's about "great sex"， but it's also about understanding each other， working on your marriage， and thriving together。 This is an eye-opening read that help guys understand things in a whole new way！ Buy one for yourself and by the time you're done， you'll want to get a "His and Hers" set for every couple you care about。 This book will totally change the way you approach marriage and intimacy。 Yes， it's about "great sex"， but it's also about understanding each other， working on your marriage， and thriving together。 This is an eye-opening read that help guys understand things in a whole new way！ Buy one for yourself and by the time you're done， you'll want to get a "His and Hers" set for every couple you care about。 。。。more
Ladonna
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My husband appreciated this book and it's informative nature。 Every man should read this book！ My husband appreciated this book and it's informative nature。 Every man should read this book！ 。。。more
Tiffany
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This book is Christian approach to married sex and I found it to be comprehensive， unapologetic， and extremely positive。 The book provides a lot of scientific information， as well as great questions and talking points for couples around spiritual/emotional intimacy and physical intimacy。 The statistics from the survey they conducted were enlightening。 I’ve read other Christian books about marriage and had a lot of difficulty getting onboard with the typical man/woman roles that those books assum This book is Christian approach to married sex and I found it to be comprehensive， unapologetic， and extremely positive。 The book provides a lot of scientific information， as well as great questions and talking points for couples around spiritual/emotional intimacy and physical intimacy。 The statistics from the survey they conducted were enlightening。 I’ve read other Christian books about marriage and had a lot of difficulty getting onboard with the typical man/woman roles that those books assume and encourage。 I have found that those same books encourage some truly unhealthy and abusive behaviors in what should be a safe and sacred space for both spouses。 This book shows a path that encourages ALL forms of intimacy as a safe and enriching expression in marriage， for either partner。 This book allows for individuality and preferences， regardless of gender。 I find this to be so refreshing and novel in the Christian marriage and sex genre。 I would recommend this book to ANY Christian person who would like to have a loving， mutually satisfying relationship with their spouse （or future spouse）。 。。。more
Joe Denison Jr。
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“You must unlearn what you have learned” – Master YodaFollowing on the heels of “The Great Sex Rescue”， “The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex” continues the mission to tear down unbiblical and unscientific teachings in the church and to re-discover God’s true design for physical intimacy in marriage。 This book is an excellent resource for men seeking to be married， newly married men， and even men who are long passed the newlywed stage。 If you grew up in the purity culture like I did you heard a ton “You must unlearn what you have learned” – Master YodaFollowing on the heels of “The Great Sex Rescue”， “The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex” continues the mission to tear down unbiblical and unscientific teachings in the church and to re-discover God’s true design for physical intimacy in marriage。 This book is an excellent resource for men seeking to be married， newly married men， and even men who are long passed the newlywed stage。 If you grew up in the purity culture like I did you heard a ton of terrible messages about sex。 The purity culture objectified women and painted men as lustful animals。 It treated sex in marriage as a wife’s obligation rather than a true “knowing and joining” of two spouses。 This book helps the reader to “unlearn” these false teachings and to instead see and apply their sexuality in the pure light of God’s design。 This book explains in detail that men are not designed by God to be monsters。 We can have victory over lust。 We can have a truly intimate and pleasurable sex life with our spouse。 There is so much healing in this book it makes me want to tear up。 I wish I had had this book before I got married and I encourage every man who is or wants to be married to read it。 The structure of the book is well laid out。 It touches a wide variety of topics including the "philosophical" （God's design for great sex） as well as the scientific and technical。 The book makes clear that God made sex to be mutual， intimate， and pleasurable for both husbands and wives。 The authors go into detail on the sexual response cycle and explain how church culture’s misconceptions about sex often lead to the wife’s sexual response being short-circuited。 They also share a boatload of data on the impact of the false teachings of purity culture and how it has especially hurt women。 The authors give concrete advice on how we as husbands can be truly intimate with our wives and help them discover their God given sexuality。 The descriptions on how to prioritize the wife’s pleasure were excellent and I liked how the authors were detailed enough without making it sound like some sort of written procedure （Step 1。 Take off clothes， Step 2。 etc。）。 lolKeith's medical expertise really comes through in Ch。 2 with his clear and concise medical definitions。 The "pros" and "cons" information for the contraception section was the best I have ever seen in a Christian marriage book。 When discussing subjects such as spontaneous vs。 responsive libido I appreciated that the authors spoke in generalities。 For example， while men are 3 times more likely to be spontaneous that doesn't mean all men are spontaneous。 It’s so good to see a Christian marriage book where a person is NOT treated as broken if they don’t fall into the general trendline。 Something I also enjoyed about this book is that it is not only a good book on sex but it also gives high quality marriage advice。 The stories and advice in Ch。 8 about being emotionally connected and spending quality time together were so great。 Some nitpicks: No book is perfect and I have a few nitpicks。While the authors are clear in Ch。 6 “Ladies First” that they aren’t treating “she climaxes first” as a hard and fast rule I would have appreciated additional discussion for the case where a wife finds sex uncomfortable after orgasm。Also， their discussion on marital aids was a little bit truncated。 I would have appreciated more discussion on situations where a couple requires a marital aid in order for sex to be pleasurable （medication issues， disability， etc。）。 Overall， I give the book 4。8 out of 5 stars （96%）。 This book is a game changer that can positively impact generations of men and women。 Please buy this book and buy more copies for the men around you。 。。。more
Crista
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I believe this book could easily be one of the most important books on this topic I have ever read。 In the Gregoire’s style， it is no fluff or nonsense。 I will admit， I did have to tear up in the first few chapters as I realized the extent of empathy and grace their message extends。 This book is just as important for women to read， as it is for the men who want to love them well。 Definitely recommend for conservative， fundamental or evangelical background readers that couldn’t settle for the tra I believe this book could easily be one of the most important books on this topic I have ever read。 In the Gregoire’s style， it is no fluff or nonsense。 I will admit， I did have to tear up in the first few chapters as I realized the extent of empathy and grace their message extends。 This book is just as important for women to read， as it is for the men who want to love them well。 Definitely recommend for conservative， fundamental or evangelical background readers that couldn’t settle for the trash mixed along in with the current prevalent messages， and want to find something refreshing， relevant to today， but deeply devoted to showing the words and heart of God toward sexual relationships。The nuanced approach to heavier topics such as pornography， lust， libido and sexual response cycles， was appreciated。 Keith's style of conversation in this book was awesome as well， and Keith and Sheila included plenty of anecdotes， some humour， and lots of graphics from their research， surveying Christian men。Good book to read for engaged or soon to be married couples， and for the married as well， or well in fact any of those who would like to find a positive and helpful approach to understanding sexuality。 。。。more
L Johnson
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*Excellent science-based book* with a Christian framing written by co-authors who have a background as a physician （Keith） and writing/blogging/podcasting for many years on this topic （Sheila）。 What I love about this book is everything is easy to understand and practical with clear steps on what to do to create an intimate mutual experience both people can look toward to。 Keith and Sheila vulnerably share their own story of pain and growth in this area， what men think from a survey of 3000 men， *Excellent science-based book* with a Christian framing written by co-authors who have a background as a physician （Keith） and writing/blogging/podcasting for many years on this topic （Sheila）。 What I love about this book is everything is easy to understand and practical with clear steps on what to do to create an intimate mutual experience both people can look toward to。 Keith and Sheila vulnerably share their own story of pain and growth in this area， what men think from a survey of 3000 men， and what up-to-date scientific research says。 Unlike many best selling Christian marriage books， it’s not about someone’s opinion with a few Bible verses thrown in。 Chapter 2 and 3 dives right into the medical side of things including specifics of types of contraception with pros and cons and easy graphics to understand the 2 different sexual response cycles that tend to vary by gender which explains a lot of the disconnect some couples feel。 This is a book that acknowledges that these are *tendencies* and not absolutes so everyone is included。 It covers a wide variety of topics-the physical， emotional and spiritual side to intimacy in marriage with sections on porn， trauma etc This book is perfect for MANY groups of people 1） men who want a great marriage full of desire and pleasure for both 2） parents who want good info for their sons 3） couples preparing for marriage and gifts for wedding showers， 4） women who want to understand what men are reading 5） singles who want good information 6） pastors/counselors/mentors for good information to share 7）small groups to study and discuss 8） anyone else I left out。 😀 。。。more
Abigail
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What I most appreciated about this book in particular compared to other Christian sex/marriage books is that it is based in evidence， and not the stereotypes you commonly see when conservatives talk about sex。 （Crockpot/microwave， anyone？） That is not to say it is a heavy read， far from it！ I enjoyed the way information was presented。 I'm thankful especially for the explanation of arousal cycles， how that practically affects couples and their sexual relationship。 That key information was missing What I most appreciated about this book in particular compared to other Christian sex/marriage books is that it is based in evidence， and not the stereotypes you commonly see when conservatives talk about sex。 （Crockpot/microwave， anyone？） That is not to say it is a heavy read， far from it！ I enjoyed the way information was presented。 I'm thankful especially for the explanation of arousal cycles， how that practically affects couples and their sexual relationship。 That key information was missing in every book I read prior to my marriage。 Other highlights include a honeymoon overview， an introduction to vaginismus， a helpful explanation of the "orgasm gap" and what to do about it。 It's about time Christian marriages have a book like this one and it's companion。 。。。more
Kristen Greene
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Finally a book to recommend completely for any couple！ The practical advice is wonderful。 Easy reading， but also full of real information - not religious tropes and outdated beliefs。 My favorite part of the book is that it look at the relationship holistically and not as if sex was somehow an island。 Will be giving this to my friends。
Angelina
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The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex is a fantastic book for all husbands and men about to get married。 It addresses all the components of sexuality - the physical， spiritual， and emotional。 It helps you understand how your wife’s body and mind work and what you can do in order that you both enjoy your sexual experiences to the fullest。 It is a realistic book that discusses the facts of sexual issues such as porn， health problems， past trauma and abuse， etc。 but also shows you how to overcome them。 The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex is a fantastic book for all husbands and men about to get married。 It addresses all the components of sexuality - the physical， spiritual， and emotional。 It helps you understand how your wife’s body and mind work and what you can do in order that you both enjoy your sexual experiences to the fullest。 It is a realistic book that discusses the facts of sexual issues such as porn， health problems， past trauma and abuse， etc。 but also shows you how to overcome them。 I definitely recommend this book！ 。。。more
Maribeth
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This is the best book I’ve read that is directed to men about sex。 Gregoire does a fantastic job relating important information。 It is well-written and accurate。 She is credible with her research and explains it well。 This is a must read！ ***I read book this as a launch team member。
Jennifer
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This book is good for anyone in or interested in a sexual relationship but essential for anyone with a background in evangelicalism。 This book shows what a healthy relationship should be and offers a path forward for those who have picked up some unhealthy habits。 It is well researched and full of actual science， not just opinions like some Christian marriage books。 I wish I would have had this as a resource when I got married years ago; understanding what our expectations of sex should be would This book is good for anyone in or interested in a sexual relationship but essential for anyone with a background in evangelicalism。 This book shows what a healthy relationship should be and offers a path forward for those who have picked up some unhealthy habits。 It is well researched and full of actual science， not just opinions like some Christian marriage books。 I wish I would have had this as a resource when I got married years ago; understanding what our expectations of sex should be would have saved us much physical pain and heartache。 。。。more
Grace Drury
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I received an advanced copy for preordering the book。 To clarify my rating: 4 stars for me is an excellent book， but it didn’t particularly change much of my perspective especially as it wasn’t written to me。 I gave Great Sex Rescue 5 stars because that information was personally staggering on how bad beliefs can wreak havoc on sex in a marriage。 In regard to this book， I read it and sometimes I forgot it was even addressing men， but overall you can tell the writer was a man addressing men: this I received an advanced copy for preordering the book。 To clarify my rating: 4 stars for me is an excellent book， but it didn’t particularly change much of my perspective especially as it wasn’t written to me。 I gave Great Sex Rescue 5 stars because that information was personally staggering on how bad beliefs can wreak havoc on sex in a marriage。 In regard to this book， I read it and sometimes I forgot it was even addressing men， but overall you can tell the writer was a man addressing men: this is in contrast to the Good Girl’s Guide where Sheila relates to women and draws them in with her funny examples and adjectives。 Keith tends to be tamed yet focused in his examples which I’m sure my husband will appreciate。 It was very practical， and flipped the script in a positive， helpful & loving way。 There was some necessary overlap for readers （which would be especially helpful if they didn’t read Great Sex Rescue， but it only lasted for a small portion of the book。 I will admit the NetGalley app was a pain and am looking forward to getting my preordered copy on Kindle。 This would have been an excellent book to read as a newlywed - not because my husband had problems， but because he could’ve helped head off problems mentioned in this book。 Some men really do want to be amazing lovers from the beginning and when their wives have internalized bad messages: it makes it tough。 Those messages are insidious & can impact the marriage because the husband and wife aren’t even aware problems exist。 I will definitely be passing these healthy views found in the Good Guy’s Guide down to my children。 。。。more
R P
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I found this book to be a breathe of fresh air in terms of the typical way evangelical books look at sex。 There is no obligation sex or entitlement mentality here。 This book goes beyond the act of intercourse and digs deep into what intimacy truly is， what Christian husbands can do to build friendship， spiritual closeness and sexual intimacy with their wives in a way that truly enriches their whole marriage。 I really appreciated how it calls men to work on their own spiritual and emotional matur I found this book to be a breathe of fresh air in terms of the typical way evangelical books look at sex。 There is no obligation sex or entitlement mentality here。 This book goes beyond the act of intercourse and digs deep into what intimacy truly is， what Christian husbands can do to build friendship， spiritual closeness and sexual intimacy with their wives in a way that truly enriches their whole marriage。 I really appreciated how it calls men to work on their own spiritual and emotional maturity。 I think what also distinguishes this book from the other Christian sex books I have read is how it goes in depth into the sexual response cycle， as well as giving a real biblical definition of lust that lifts the burden of "noticing" attractive people off of men's shoulders。 It is also clear about consent， coercion and when to seek professional help in your marriage （or before you get married）。 The honeymoon section is practical and excellent as well。 I look forward to recommending this book and the companion book girl's book to our church and any newly weds as well as married couples struggling in their sex lives！ 。。。more
Sarah Wolfe
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I can't recommend this enough for fiances and husbands！ My husband and I are about to order a bunch as gifts。 Thorough， genuinely helpful， practical， but nicely succinct。 Really great book， well done。{I was provided an ARC by the publisher in exchange for a review。} I can't recommend this enough for fiances and husbands！ My husband and I are about to order a bunch as gifts。 Thorough， genuinely helpful， practical， but nicely succinct。 Really great book， well done。{I was provided an ARC by the publisher in exchange for a review。} 。。。more
Wendy Hilton
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As a single mom， I have searched high and low to find books that I can feel good about passing on to my sons someday。 Books that will teach and encourage them to have a healthy view of women， marriage， sex， and their role as Godly husbands。 I started out years ago reading many of the popular Christian marriage and sex books out of sheer necessity and desperation。 I was looking for answers but not fully understanding at the time that much of what I was experiencing in my marriage was abuse。 As I As a single mom， I have searched high and low to find books that I can feel good about passing on to my sons someday。 Books that will teach and encourage them to have a healthy view of women， marriage， sex， and their role as Godly husbands。 I started out years ago reading many of the popular Christian marriage and sex books out of sheer necessity and desperation。 I was looking for answers but not fully understanding at the time that much of what I was experiencing in my marriage was abuse。 As I read these other “Christian marriage” books， I was seeing a picture being painted that told me sex was more for him than for me， sex was his need and was owed to him。 I was counseled to give him more sex， told my body was not my own， and I was to respect him unconditionally， among many other ideas that proved to be very harmful in perpetuating the abuse in my marriage。 I was always left with the idea that I was the one that needed to do better， try harder and give more even though I was the one consistently giving， and he was the one consistently taking and receiving。 This is where Keith and Shelia’s book comes in。 Deep down I desperately needed to believe that what I experienced was not how God intended marriage and sex to be。 I was not broken or wrong to feel the way I was feeling。 I knew sex was not supposed to only be for him or leave me feeling used。 Sex was not meant to cause emotional and physical pain; it was not meant to leave me feeling devalued like I was an object instead of a human being， yet that is what was being conveyed repeatedly。 This is the very reason that this book is desperately needed in Christian circles。 So many of the books on the market encourage and/or downplay abuse as normal or at the least they encourage neglect or complete lack of understanding when it comes to the wife’s sexual workings。 She is most definitely an afterthought in many of them。 It took me years to work through the trauma of the bad advice that was given， and this absolutely needs to change。 I know there are good men out there， men who want to honor and love their wives。 They want their sex lives to be mutually satisfying and enjoyable for their wives in the way that God intended。 Men this book truly is a gift to you if you will only take the time to read it and process the truth of what it says it quite literally could change your sex life into something you never thought possible。 I am personally beyond thrilled to finally have a book I can feel good about passing on to my sons and my daughter’s future husband。 It will be the first book I give as a gift to any soon-to-be newlyweds or couples struggling in their marriage。 。。。more
Wendy
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Having received an advance copy， both my husband and I have read this and think this is very good and has a lot to offer。 We run marriage courses and are often looking for wise balanced resources on sex in marriage， and this will definitely now be on our recommended list。 They start by defining what great sex is - physical， emotional and spiritual， and explain the medical and practical aspects of sex， including the sexual response cycle and how it can vary。 The next section explores each of thes Having received an advance copy， both my husband and I have read this and think this is very good and has a lot to offer。 We run marriage courses and are often looking for wise balanced resources on sex in marriage， and this will definitely now be on our recommended list。 They start by defining what great sex is - physical， emotional and spiritual， and explain the medical and practical aspects of sex， including the sexual response cycle and how it can vary。 The next section explores each of these aspects of sex: 1。 Physical。 Looks at orgasm in detail， particularly for women。 They also address issues in this area， such as painful sex and erectile dysfunction。 2。 Emotional companionship and closeness。 This includes the helpful reminder to sharing the mental load of life together， because you care for each other; and how a husband can encourage his wife not to only be “mom”。3。 Spiritual intimacy and oneness。 Noting that true connection cannot happen when there is shame or secrets between you， they turn to common roadblocks including past trauma， triggers， and when we make sex sound ugly rather than loving and connected。 Three particular chapters are incredibly helpful， addressing the myth that men need sex， the impact of pornography， and how to consider lust。 All of these interact and argue against some other Christian teaching in this area， and provide a helpful and wise counterpoint， encouraging men to be mature。 Finally， they turn to the chapter that is in every sex book - about spicing things up。 There were wise boundaries here: for the key to passion in the bedroom for her is safety - knowing her comfort level matters to you， that your relationship is safe， and she doesn’t have to perform to keep your interest。 They conclude by considering libido differences and which are just preferences and which are actually a problem， including a series of tough self-analysis questions for husbands。 Appendices address sex for the honeymoon， and questions for spouses to work through together。 Some areas that weren’t as strong included:- It lacks an overall theological framework of married sex- It is a little problem focussed - starting with concerns about sex rather than the big picture that sex is a good gift - I found some of the messages for him vs her less helpful， even though they may often be true。 They say: the wife gets the “rah-rah” book and he gets the “here’s how you can be her knight in shining armor book - because you can be your wife’s hero in the bedroom” （p。 4）。 There was a tendency to make it all about her （which frankly is a nice change， but I wasn’t sure if it didn’t swing too far in that direction）。 - They still haven’t found the best way to present their research in an easily readable format。 Overall the book has a very helpful tone， is balanced， acknowledges issues and frankly addresses them， as well as giving hope for change and growth in a marriage that enjoys safe and secure sex。This is a wise and measured book for husbands who want both to love and honour their wives， and to care for them in and out of the bedroom。 I recommend it for all husbands and look forward to reading the new updated version for women。 For a much more detailed review， see https://musingsinadelaide。blogspot。co。。。 。。。more
TJ Cox
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Oh， my goodness！ This book is SO informative！ And it doesn’t just assume men are incapable of being Christlike。 The book is very practical and covers a plethora of information on how arousal works in men versus women。 It explains lust， which other books just assume all men are unable to not lust when a woman walks into their path。 Not this book。 This one lets you know that there is a difference between noticing a woman and actively imagining things about her。 The entire time， it encourages a mat Oh， my goodness！ This book is SO informative！ And it doesn’t just assume men are incapable of being Christlike。 The book is very practical and covers a plethora of information on how arousal works in men versus women。 It explains lust， which other books just assume all men are unable to not lust when a woman walks into their path。 Not this book。 This one lets you know that there is a difference between noticing a woman and actively imagining things about her。 The entire time， it encourages a mature stand on viewing the wife with honor without degrading the male reader。 I see this as an excellent tool to correct so many horrible ideas that have seeped into Christain’s thoughts。 It is even a great read for a man who is engaged， and could absolutely save that couple from years of frustration。 I highly recommend it for all married guys as well as ones who know who their future wife is。 。。。more
Maureen
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I can not recommend this book enough - or any of Sheila Wray Gregoire's books！ I will be giving this book （and the companion Good Girls Guide） to all engaged couples I know as the best engagement present they will ever get！ I can not recommend this book enough - or any of Sheila Wray Gregoire's books！ I will be giving this book （and the companion Good Girls Guide） to all engaged couples I know as the best engagement present they will ever get！ 。。。more
Elizabeth Tonneson
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I think this is an excellent， well-rounded book that covers all the bases （pun not intended！） of what is needed for a happy， fulfilling sex life。 It addresses things often left out of other Christian marriage/sex books， and avoids a lot of the pitfalls "purity culture" has brought about in the church。 It addresses how important consent is before sex - yes， even in marriage！ It addresses the harmful message of every man struggling with lust， and it gives helpful advice to men about how *most* wom I think this is an excellent， well-rounded book that covers all the bases （pun not intended！） of what is needed for a happy， fulfilling sex life。 It addresses things often left out of other Christian marriage/sex books， and avoids a lot of the pitfalls "purity culture" has brought about in the church。 It addresses how important consent is before sex - yes， even in marriage！ It addresses the harmful message of every man struggling with lust， and it gives helpful advice to men about how *most* women's bodies work。 It is a book full of hope and fun and doesn't beat around the bush。 They say outright that porn is bad all the time， that if your wife isn't enjoying sex it isn't just her fault， and that men need to get off their butts and be engaged in the marriage。 A few excellent quotes: "By teaching that lust is a natural and inevitable response to seeing a woman， we equate male sexual desire with the objectification of women。 Not only does that needlessly shame men for having a normal sexual drive when they have done nothing wrong; it also gives men a free pass when they are being creepy and inappropriate。" "Part of what we get wrong in our discussion of lust is that we frame lust as an assault on men's purity instead of an assault on women's personhood。" "She spent her whole life with the constant background noise of worries about sexual violence and being objectified。 And then to be told that God says she needs to let her husband use her or he will fall into sin？ It feels as if God is objectifying her too。 It feels as if God is coercing her into Sex。 It feels as if not one cares that this is her body。" 。。。more
Karlissa J。
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We received an advance copy for reviewing purposes。My husband's review:As a guy， reading books about sex （or marriage books about it） was a consistent exercise in either confusion or disgust。 The usual messages I got were:1。tThe book was written with the understanding that it was going to be read by a woman。 The only exception could possibly be a small study group。2。tThe key to good sex was about simply having it more; not about creating actual， deep connection with your spouse。3。tGuys are in es We received an advance copy for reviewing purposes。My husband's review:As a guy， reading books about sex （or marriage books about it） was a consistent exercise in either confusion or disgust。 The usual messages I got were:1。tThe book was written with the understanding that it was going to be read by a woman。 The only exception could possibly be a small study group。2。tThe key to good sex was about simply having it more; not about creating actual， deep connection with your spouse。3。tGuys are in essence， disgusting sexual pigs who can’t control themselves。4。tIf you don’t want sex all the time as a guy， or fit in what the author says is “normal” or “right”， you’re not a “real man”。5。tA wife’s main purpose in sex is simply to “satisfy her husband”， often completely ignoring the possibility that the guy’s satisfaction is more tied to his wife actually enjoying it and being an active and equal participant rather than how often they have it。Honestly， it had gotten to the point where I had all but given up on ever finding a book about sex （from Christian principles） that was actually written for men。 So it was met with great anticipation when Sheila announced that she’d be writing “The Good Guy’s Guide To Great Sex” with her husband Keith as co-author。 I have loved Sheila’s previous books， as well as her blog and podcast。 And this exceeded my expectations。This book is truly written with men as the primary audience， and it is informative， inspiring， and a true eye-opener。 Without discrimination， it points out a lot of the lies we have believed about sex （cultural or otherwise） and points us in an evidence-based direction。 They acknowledge what is “normal” while also not forgetting those who don’t fit with the majority。 They point us to a more holistic mindset of what sex actually is （turns out， it’s not just intercourse）。 And above all， it upholds biblical teachings， like placing the needs of your spouse first – even in the area of sex。A lot of people may take primary notes of the debunking of beliefs commonly held in Evangelical circles， but what really stood out to me was that this book takes a complete and fair look at everything it touches on。 Using their survey of 3，000 men， they take their findings and show what they mean， whether it supports or destroys common Evangelical teachings。And to put the icing on the cake， this whole book is written with the understanding that it’s not just for married men。 There’s even an appendix that thoughtfully helps grooms-to-be to be better prepared their honeymoon （oh to have read this before mine）！ This is actually a book I can honestly （and with a clean conscience） recommend to other guys – married or otherwise。 It makes its case， using both evidence and scripture to form what sex really is， and what it could be for those willing to make it so。 。。。more
W
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I wrote a more detailed review。 However， I fear being honest could result in my reputation being attacked from the authors' team or her followers。 I cannot risk having my life canceled。 I would encourage men to read the book。 It is good， but I have some concerns on how some men or women may read parts of the book as rules （rather than guidelines） that could be very unhelpful。 I contacted the authors about those concerns。 Since Sheila critiques other authors regularly on their lack of clarity， on I wrote a more detailed review。 However， I fear being honest could result in my reputation being attacked from the authors' team or her followers。 I cannot risk having my life canceled。 I would encourage men to read the book。 It is good， but I have some concerns on how some men or women may read parts of the book as rules （rather than guidelines） that could be very unhelpful。 I contacted the authors about those concerns。 Since Sheila critiques other authors regularly on their lack of clarity， one chapter puzzles me。 Its unclear if she is proposing guidance that works really well for most women （and couples） in most seasons; or is she promoting a rule that "good godly men" must follow and avoid deviating from。 If the latter， I believe it could result in harm to some women （or couples） in some moments or seasons of their marriage。 Hence， why clarity is important。 。。。more
Sloan
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I think this is the best review I can give: My wife loved this book…and she didn’t read a word！ ;）（I showed that first sentence to her before continuing to write， and she laughed， saying， “Yep！ Sounds about right！”）To be a little more real about the book itself， and not just the results: I was pumped to be on the launch team for this book and read an advance copy after reading Great Sex Rescue during my engagement last year。 That book brought so much clarity and healing to me and blessing to my I think this is the best review I can give: My wife loved this book…and she didn’t read a word！ ;）（I showed that first sentence to her before continuing to write， and she laughed， saying， “Yep！ Sounds about right！”）To be a little more real about the book itself， and not just the results: I was pumped to be on the launch team for this book and read an advance copy after reading Great Sex Rescue during my engagement last year。 That book brought so much clarity and healing to me and blessing to my relationship—I grew up in a conservative evangelical environment—that I couldn’t wait to read this book。 To be real， at first I was a little disappointed， mostly because I was expecting the same confrontational， hard-hitting approach from page one。 Instead， a bit like the sexual response cycle Keith and Sheila discuss， the book builds over time。 This book truly is a guide to healthy， mutual， enjoyable sex。 I found it filled in gaps and questions in my understanding that I didn’t know I had， and as I read it， I regularly found my mind and soul refreshed （and sometimes challenged） by truth。 I plan to review it regularly and recommend it often！ 。。。more
Eliza Fitzgerald
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I think this book is so helpful and so important， filling a gap in Christian advice books that has been gaping for a long time。They emphasize over and over that sex is meant to be mutual， intimate and pleasurable for BOTH。 This book is mostly aimed at young couples or newlyweds （this would be a perfect wedding present or shower gift） but there is plenty of great advice for couples who have been married for a while and may be struggling （definitely get The Great Sex Rescue too if that's the case） I think this book is so helpful and so important， filling a gap in Christian advice books that has been gaping for a long time。They emphasize over and over that sex is meant to be mutual， intimate and pleasurable for BOTH。 This book is mostly aimed at young couples or newlyweds （this would be a perfect wedding present or shower gift） but there is plenty of great advice for couples who have been married for a while and may be struggling （definitely get The Great Sex Rescue too if that's the case）。 The Gregories really hit the right note I think: this book is filled with grace and redemption and and the love of Christ。 If a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church then this is a powerful place to start。 If there are hurts that need healing then this is a safe place to start。 If you just really want to know how to rock your wife's world， this is a great place to start。This book was thorough but a quick read， it's a great resource for pastors and counselors to use with couples in pre marital and marriage counseling （The discussion questions in the appendix would work great in that setting。） It isn't really written to just hand to a teenager but it would be a great book for a parent to read before talking with their teens about sex。 I can't wait to read the updated Good Girls Guide （the companion book to this one）。 。。。more
Mark
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Read the digital advance edition of this book。 Very well written guide around Sex for guys， and provides a great background on how to ensure good and healthy patterns are developed from the outset。 Would be very helpful and informative for all guys to read before marriage。 Could have helped avoid a lot of sexual challenges。 Provides well-rounded advice on how Sex is much more than a physical act （includes emotional and spiritual connection）， and how it is important to have all these elements pre Read the digital advance edition of this book。 Very well written guide around Sex for guys， and provides a great background on how to ensure good and healthy patterns are developed from the outset。 Would be very helpful and informative for all guys to read before marriage。 Could have helped avoid a lot of sexual challenges。 Provides well-rounded advice on how Sex is much more than a physical act （includes emotional and spiritual connection）， and how it is important to have all these elements present for a fulfilling sexual life。 Overall， highly recommend the book。 。。。more
Levi Martin
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